lol

March 29, 2008

FIRE!!!

Filed under: Blonde Jokes, Jokes — lol27 @ 10:07 am
Three women are about to be executed. One”s a brunette, one”s a redhead, and one”s a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, “Ready! Aim…”Suddenly the brunette yells, “EARTHQUAKE!!!”

Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.

The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no, and the executioner shouts, “Ready! Aim…”

Suddenly the redhead yells, “TORNADO!!!”

Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.

By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, “Ready! Aim…”

And the blonde yells, “FIRE!!!”

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March 28, 2008

Games

Filed under: games — lol27 @ 7:17 pm

Im going to be putting games on this site!!! But dont worry im still going to post jokes but ill be putting games also!! Also i changed my backround to change the website up a little and for an easier way to get to the games and advertise your site

March 27, 2008

LOL

Filed under: Blonde Jokes, Jokes — lol27 @ 5:24 pm

 I may have already posted some of these but who cares!!!

Q: What does Star Trek’s Dr Bones McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde?
A: Space. The final frontier……….

Q: What did the blond do when she missed the 66 Bus?
A: She took the 33 bus twice instead.

Q: Why do ya reckon Blonds don’t have elevator jobs?
A: Cos they’ve no idea of the route.

Q: How do you make a blonde’s eyes Twinkle?
A: You shine a torchlight in her ear.

Q: Did you hear about the blond Bear?
A: Got stuck in a hunter’s trap, chewed off it’s 2 paws and 1 leg, and was still stuck.

Q: How does a stereotypical blonde spell Farm?
A: E-I-E-I-O.

Q: How do you measure their intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in their ear.

It’s with great tragedy that I report my blonde next door neighbour tried to kill her toy poodle.
She tried putting batteries in it.

To amuse a Blonde for hours, give her a sheet of paper with ‘Please turn over’ scribbled on both sides.

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
A: There have been sightings of UFOs.

Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
A: Frosted Flakes.

Q: What do you call a blonde holding a brief case, up a tree?
A: The Branch Manager.

Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proof-reading.

Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

Q: Why do blondes love lightning?
A: They reckon somebody is taking their photo.

It’s with tremendous sadness that I report a local blond girl has lost 95% of her brains….yes, her husband just died.

Q: What’s brown, red, black and blue?
A: A Brunette who’s been tellin one too many blonde jokes.

NEWSFLASH: Blonde girl fired from Banana plantation for throwing out all the bent ones.

Q: Why couldn’t the blonde manage to make Ice-Cubes?
A: She couldn’t find the recipe.

 

She was so blonde that…

She thought a quarterback was a refund.

She managed to trip over my cordless phone.

On the bottom of the job application where it said ‘Sign Here’ she wrote ‘Aquarias’.

She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

She told me to meet her on the corner of “Walk” and “Don’t Walk”.

She tried to place a bag of M&M’s in alphabetical order.

She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

She took a ruler to bed so she could see how long she slept.

When she got an AM radio, it took her 10 month to figure out she could use it at night.

She spent 25 minutes staring at the Orange juice box cos it said – “concentrate”

She got stabbed in a Shoot out.

She used to sit on the tv so she could watch the couch.

She was so blonde she fell for these Crazy Pranks & Hilarious Gags – great pranks for playing on your blond friends 🙂

When she heard that 90% of all crimes were around the home, she moved.

She thinks Eartha Kitt is a set of gardening tools.

When she saw the sign for YMCA she said: “LOOK, they’ve spelled MACY’s wrong!!!”

She stood staring at the frozen orange juice because it said “Concentrate”.

She put lippie on her forehead cos her boyfriend told her to make up her mind.

She tried to drown a fish.

If you offered her a Penny for her thoughts, you’d get change.

She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

She took a Spoon to the Super Bowl.

It takes her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.

She asked for a Price-check at the ‘Everythings a Pound’ store.

They had to burn her school down to get her outta 4th grade.

She thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.

 

When I was drowning in a lake and screaming out for a life saver she asked: “Grape or Cherry?”

She thought Meow Mix was a record for Cats.

She thought that Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company.

She tried to drown a fish.

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 2. 1 to hold the Diet Irn-Bru and the other to call on ‘Daddddyyy’

Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.

Q: What did the blonde do when she heard on the news that over 90% of accidents occur at the home?
A: She moved.

Q: What’s five miles long and has an IQ of Sixty?
A: A blonde parade.

Q: Why did the blonde call the job centre?
A: She wanted to find out how to cook food stamps.

Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in 6 or 12 pieces.
A: “Oh, only Six I think – I’d never manage to eat all 12 pieces.”

Q: What do you call a Smart blonde?
A: A Golden Retriever.

: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?
A: Perri-Air.

Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Cos sheep can’t bring beer from the fridge.

Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?
A: Both are completely empty from the neck up.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: Why are blondes hurt by people’s words?
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.

Q: How do you drive a blonde Insane?
A: Hide her Hair Dryer.

Q: How do blonde braincells die?
A: alone.

Q: How do you know a blonde has robbed your house?
A: You notice the microwave is gone, but a note is there in it’s place saying: “Thanks for the TV”

Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
A: (I’ll tell you tomorrow.)

Q: How do you get a blonde to stay in the shower all day?
A: Lend her your bottle of Shampoo that says “lather, rinse, repeat”.

Q: What do you call a blonde on a University Campus?
A: A visitor.

A couple of Blonde jokes

Filed under: Blonde Jokes, Jokes — lol27 @ 4:17 pm

There’s 1 redhead 1 brunette and 1 blonde. Their all at the NASA space center. The redhead says to the flight technician “I want to go to the moon”. The flight technician says she can go tomorrow. The brunette says “I want to go to Mars”. He says she can go next week. The blonde says “I want to go to the sun”. The flight technician says, “Don’t you know you’ll burn up?” The blonde says “Well then I’ll go at night.”

WOW  SMART BLONDE!!!

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa. ” Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, “Okay, if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.00.” This catches the blonde’s attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?” The blonde doesn’t say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. “Okay” says the lawyer, “your turn.” She asks the lawyer, “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?” The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer.

Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, “Thank you,” and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, “Well, what’s the answer?” Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep. And you thought blondes were dumb.

A police officer pulls over a car with a young blonde driver in it….

Cop : “Miss, this is a 65 MPH highway, why are you going so slowly?”

Blonde : “Officer, I saw a lot of signs saying 22, not 65.”

Cop : “Oh miss, that’s not the speed limit, that’s the name of the highway you’re on!”

Blonde : “Oh! Stupid me! Thanks for letting me know, Ill be more careful from now on.”

At this point the cop looks into the back seat of the car, where the passengers are shaking and white as ghosts.

Cop : “Excuse me miss, what’s wrong with your friends back there? They’re shaking something awful.”

Blonde : “Oh… We just got off of highway 119”.

 

Blonde Inventions
1. The water-proof towel
2. Solar powered flashlight
3. Submarine screen door
4. A book on how to read
5. Inflatable dart board
6. A dictionary index
7. Ejector seat in a helicopter
8. Powdered water
9. Pedal-powered wheel chair
10. Water-proof tea bag

 

A blonde buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to lottery headquarters to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number. The blonde says, “I want my $20 million.” The man replied, “No, sorry lady. It doesn’t work that way. We give you a million today and then you’ll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years.” The blonde said, “Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it.” Again, the man explain that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years. The blonde, furious with the man, screams out, “Look, I want my money! If you’re not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my dollar back!”

 

March 26, 2008

lol

Filed under: Blonde Jokes, Jokes — lol27 @ 5:16 pm

There was a blonde driving down the road listening to the radio. The announcer was telling blonde joke after blonde joke until the blonde was so mad that she turned her radio off. A mile down the road, she saw another blonde out in a corn field in a boat rowing. The blonde stopped her car jumped out and yelled, “It’s blondes like you that give us all a bad name. If I could swim I’d come out there and give you what’s coming to you!”

A blonde and a brunette are skydiving.

The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord — nothing happens.

She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing.

The blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells “Oh! So you wanna race, huh?”

Funny!

Filed under: Jokes — lol27 @ 12:15 pm

 This is not blonde jokes but who cares.

 Thanks to    funnystufflol.wordpress.com

1)A college student was in a philosophy class, where there was a class discussion about whether or not God exists. The professor had the following logic:
“Has anyone in this class heard God?” Nobody spoke.
“Has anyone in this class touched God?” Again, nobody spoke.
“Has anyone in this class seen God?”
When nobody spoke for the third time, he simply stated, “Then there is no God.”The student did not like the sound of this at all, and asked for permission to speak.The professor granted it, and the student stood up and asked the following questions of his classmates:
“Has anyone in this class heard our professor’s brain?” Silence.
“Has anyone in this class touched our professor’s brain?” Absolute silence.
“Has anyone in this class seen our professor’s brain?”
When nobody in the class dared to speak, the student concluded, “Then, according to our professor’s logic, it must be true that our professor has no brain!”

2)Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane energy-efficient kind.
Yesterday, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the windows had been installed a whole year ago and I hadn’t paid for them yet.
Now just because I’m blonde doesn’t mean that I am automatically stupid.
So I told him just exactly what his fast-talking sales guy had told ME last year…namely, that in just ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves! Helllooooo’! ! (I told him). ‘It’s been a year’!
There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up…he hasn’t called back, probably too embarrassed about forgetting the guarantee they made me.
Bet he won’t underestimate my intelligence again.

3)
A woman was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, “Go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them.”
A friend said, “O.K., what’s the capital of Wyoming?” The woman replied, “Oh, that’s easy, ‘W’.”

4)
One night four college students were playing video games till late night and didn’t study for the test which was taking place the next day.
In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird with grease and dirt. Then they went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.
So the Dean said they can have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they will be ready by that time. On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test. All four were required to sit in seperate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.
The Test consisted of 2 questions with the total of 100 Marks:
Q.1. Your Name ……………………. ( 2 MARKS )
_______________________________
Q.2. Which tire burst ? …………… ( 98 MARKS )
a) Front Left
b) Front Right
c) Back Left
d) Back Right

5)
There was a dumb person on the 34th floor of his office. Suddenly a man runs in and said, “Oh Bob your daughter just got into an accident.” So the man started to run as fast as he could down the stairs. When he got to the 21st floor he thought, “Wait, I’m not married.” He kept on running, then he thought, “Wait I don’t have a wife.” He kept on running, then he thought, “Wait I don’t have a daughter.” When he got to the bottom he was panting and gasping for air. Then he thought, ”Wait my name isn’t even Bob.”

6)A teacher was testing the children in his Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven.
He asked them, “If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?”
“NO!” the children answered.
“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?”
Again, the answer was, “NO!”
By now the man was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun!
“Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my wife, would that get me into Heaven?” the man asked them again.
Again, they all answered, “NO!”
The man was just bursting with pride for them. “Well,” he continued, “then how can I get into Heaven?”
A five-year-old boy shouted out, “YOU GOTTA BE DEAD!”

7)

Dispatcher: 911
Caller: Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. I’m all out of breath. Darn….I think I’m going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I’m at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.

8 )
The owner of a large factory decided to make a surprise visit and check up on his staff. Walking though the plant, he noticed a young man leaning lazily against a post.
“Just how much are you being paid a week?” said the owner angrily.
“Three hundred bucks,” replied the young man.
Taking out a fold of bills from his wallet, the owner counted out $300, slapped the money into the boy’s hands, and said “Here’s a week’s pay — now get out and don’t come back!”
The boy ran out of the factory.
Turning to one of the supervisors, the owner said “How long has that lazy bum been working here anyway?”
“He doesn’t work here,” said the supervisor. “He was just here to deliver a pizza!”

9)
A man is shopping in a department store. A security guard walks up to him, holding his son by the arm, and says,
“Sir, is this your son?”
The man answers, “Yes officer, that is my son. Why?”
The guard replies, “He destroyed a Tickle-Me-Elmo doll. You owe the store $12.”
The man asks his son, “Why did you do that?”
The boy replies, “It was laughing at me!”

10)
Some kids love going on the Web, and one particular 6-year-old boy keeps track of his passwords by writing them on Post-it notes. His dad noticed his Disney password was “MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto,” and asked why it was so long.
“Because,” the boy explained, “they say it has to have at least four characters.”
11)
There was a vampire bat, and he had just come back from hunting and had blood all over his face. The other bats were jelous and one asked where he got all the blood from, so the bat said “Well come with me and I’ll show you”.
So they go over the mountains, over the hills and into the dark forest, and the bat says,
“Do you see that tree over there?”
“Yes”, the other bat replies
“Well I didn’t”
12)
A woman heard on the news that three Brazilian soliders were killed. She cries, “Oh No!” and buries her face in her hand, sobbbing. Her husband sits there looking at her, stunned by this sudden display of emotion. Then the woman looks up at her husband and asks, “How many is a brazillion?”
13)
A man decides he wants to speak to God. So he buys the boat with the tallest mast he can find, and climbs to the top.
“God, are you there?”
“Yes I am.”
“God, what is a million years to you?”
“A minute.”
“And what is a million dollars to you?”
“A penny.”
“Can I have a penny?”
“In a minute.”
14)The children were lined up in the cafeteria of International Biblical Elementary School #337 for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. Posted on the apple tray was this note, written by a teacher:
“Take only ONE. God is watching”
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples. “
15)A Sunday School teacher asked his class, “Where is Jesus today?”
Steven raised his hand and said, “He’s in heaven.”
Mary was called on and answered, “He’s in my heart.”
Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, “I know, I know! He’s in our bathroom!!!”
The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response.
The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds.
Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.
Little Johnny said, “Well…every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, “Good Lord, are you still in there?!”
16)
Over the Disneyland intercom, a person said, “To the subject that left a wad of twenty dollar bills wrapped in a rubber band on a Star Tours ride: Good news! We found your rubber band.”
17)

A young woman goes into the doctor’s office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
“Impossible,” says the doctor, “Show me.”
The woman takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony.
She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams.
Everywhere she touches makes her scream. The doctor asks, “How about this?” and pokes the woman ’s finger. She screams and screams in agony.”I thought so,” the doctor says, “Your finger is broken.”
18)

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day.
Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialled the employee’s home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whisper. ” Hello ? “
“Is your daddy home?” he asked.
“Yes ,” whispered the small voice.
“May I talk with him?”
The child whispered, ” No .”
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, “Is your Mommy there?”
“Yes .”
“May I talk with her?”
Again the small voice whispered, ” No .”
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, “Is anybody else there?”
“Yes ,” whispered the child, ” a policeman “.
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home, the boss asked, “May I speak with the policeman?”
“No, he’s busy “, whispered the child.
“Busy doing what?”
“Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman ,” came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, “What is that noise?”
“A helicopter ” answered the whispering voice.
“What is going on there?” demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, ” The search team just landed a helicopter .”
Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, “What are they searching for?”
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle… “ME .”

19)

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, Which he gladly munches up.
After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handfull of peanuts.
She repeats this gesture about five more times.
When she is about to hand him another batch…. he asks the little old lady, “Why don’t you eat the peanuts yourself?”
“We cant chew them because we have no teeth”, she replied.
The puzzled driver asks, “Why do you buy them then?”
The old lady replied “We just love the chocolate around them.”

20)The British population was asked if Polish immigrants were a problem.
23% said ‘Yes it’s a serious problem ‘.
77% said ‘ Czesk bardzo mi milu gdzie djest toaldta ‘.

21)
Little Johnny’s teacher asks him, “There are four birds sitting on a fence. If you shoot one of them, how many will remain?” Little Johnny answers, “None. They will all fly away with the first gunshot.” The teacher replies, “The correct answer is three, but I like your thinking.” Little Johnny then asks his teacher, “Three women are sitting on a bench. One is licking her ice cream, the second is feeding pigeons, and the third is working on her laptop. Which one is married?” Johnny’s teacher says, “Why, I suppose the one that’s feeding the pigeons.” Little Johnny answers, “The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like your thinking.”22)
Three dolts are in the forest when they spot a set of tracks. Dolt No. 1 says, “Hey, deer tracks!” Dolt No. 2 says, “No, dog tracks!” Dolt No. 3 says, “You’re both wrong –they’re cow tracks!” They were still arguing when the train hit them.

 

Blonde Joke

Filed under: Blonde Jokes, Jokes — lol27 @ 12:06 pm

Two blonde girls were building a house together. One blonde was cutting the wood and the other was on a ladder nailing. Before hammering in a nail; the blonde on the ladder would reach into her nail pouch, look at it, and either toss it over her shoulder or proceed to hammer it into the wood.

The other blonde, confused, watched her do this and after she could take it no longer yelled up, “Why the heck are you throwing some of the nails away?!” “Whoa! Don’t yell!” the blonde on the ladder explained, “If it’s pointed toward me when I pull it out of my pouch, I throw it away. If it’s pointed toward the house, then I can use it safely! Duh!”

The second blonde became irate at this point and started to call her all kinds of names, referencing how stupid she was and how she was the reason blonde’s get a bad rap for being dumb. She explained the importance of keeping all the nails, “Don’t throw away the nails that are pointed toward you! They’re for the other side of the house! Duh!”

March 25, 2008

Are they that stupid

Filed under: Blonde Jokes, Jokes — lol27 @ 5:10 pm

I knew a blond that was so stupid that…

She called me to get my phone number.

She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said ‘concentrate.’

She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

She tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order.

She sent me a fax with a stamp on it. She tried to drown a fish.

She thought a quarterback was a refund.

She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

She tripped over a cordless phone. She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

She asked for a price check at the dollar store. She studied for a blood test.

She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

When she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said ‘Airport Left’ she turned around and went home.

March 24, 2008

Blonde Jokes!

Filed under: Blonde Jokes, Jokes — lol27 @ 8:52 pm

Hey everybody im going To start posting blonde jokes for a while and i might change my theme every week, month I dont know heres a couple Blonde jokes to get you guys started. No offense Blondes.

There were 11 people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane. Ten were blonde, and one was a brunette. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn`t then the rope would break and everyone would die.
No one could decide who should go, so finally the brunette said, “I`ll get off.”
After a really touching speech from the brunette saying she would get off, all of the blondes started clapping.

 In my opinion this is one of the funniest Blonde jokes EVER!!!

A guy is having a drink in a very dark bar. He leans over to the big woman next to him and says: “Do you want to hear a funny blonde joke?”
The big woman replies: “Well, before you tell me that joke, you should know something. I`m blonde, six feet tall, 210 pounds, and I`m a professional athlete and bodybuilder. Also, the blonde woman sitting next to me is 6 2″, weighs 220 pounds and is an ex-professional wrestler. And next to her is a blonde who is 6 5″, weighs 245 pounds, and she is a current professional kickboxer. Now, do you still want to tell me that blonde joke?”
The guy thinks about it a second and says: “Nah, not if I`m gonna have to explain it three times.”

March 20, 2008

Not to be rude to goerge bush but this is funny

Filed under: Jokes, president jokes — lol27 @ 9:56 pm

If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.”
…George W. Bush”Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.”
…Governor George W. Bush

“Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts.”
…Governor George W. Bush

“Mars is essentially in the same orbit…Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe.”
…Governor George W. Bush, 8/11/94

“The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation’s history. I mean in this century’s history. But we all lived in this century. I didn’t live in this century.”
…Governor George W. Bush, 9/15/95

“I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy — but that could change.”
…Governor George W. Bush, 5/22/98

“One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’.”
…Governor George W. Bush, 12/6/93

“Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.”
…Governor George W. Bush, 11/30/96

“I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.”
…Governor George W. Bush

“The future will be better tomorrow.”
…Governor George W. Bush

“We’re going to have the best educated American people in the world.”
…Governor George W. Bush 9/21/97

“People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history.”
…Governor George W. Bush

“I stand by all the misstatements that I’ve made.”
…Governor George W. Bush to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/93

“We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe.”
…Governor George W. Bush

“Public speaking is very easy.”
…Governor George W. Bush to reporters

“I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican.”
…Governor George W. Bush

“A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.”
…Governor George W. Bush

“When I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in LA, my answer has been direct & simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame.”
…George W. Bush

“Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.”
…Governor George W. Bush 5/20/96

“We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.”
…Governor George W. Bush 9/22/97

“For NASA, space is still a high priority.”
…Governor George W. Bush, 9/5/93

“Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.”
…Governor George W. Bush , 9/18/95

“The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that George Bush may or may not make.”
…Governor George W. Bush

“We’re all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made.”
…Governor George W. Bush

“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”
…Governor George W. Bush

“[It’s] time for the human race to enter the solar system.”
…Governor George W. Bush

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