lol

July 6, 2008

Jonah

Filed under: Animal jokes, Jokes — lol27 @ 3:05 pm

One day a teacher is talking to her 2nd grade class about how Jonah couldn’t possibly have survived inside a fish.

A little girl raises her hand, “Teacher, don’t worry. When I get to heaven I’ll ask him if he was in a fish for you”

The teacher looks stunned.

“And how do you know that he’ll be in heaven,” Asked the teacher, “What if he’s in hell?”

The little girl replied, “Then you can ask him.”

June 27, 2008

tons of funny jokes

Filed under: Jokes — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , — lol27 @ 5:50 pm

One happy day in elementary school, the day after the yankee’s lost to the red sox in the playoffs, A teacher decided to talk about her stupification the previous day out of shock.

Teacher: Hello class

The Entire Class: Hello Mrs. White!!!

Teacher: Ok class I want to start today off by asking what everyone’s favorite baseball team is…

The Entire Class: THE YANKEE’S!!!

A single innocent girl: The Boston Red Sox!

The teacher is amazed by this single student who doesn’t follow what everyone else is saying…

Teacher asks: Why do you like the Red Sox?

Innocent girl: because my mommie and daddie do!

Teacher: Well hon, if you make all of your decsions based on what your parents think you’ll never be independant!

Innocent girl: NUH UHHHH!!!

Teacher: Yes, you will, say if your parents were moron’s what would that make you?

The innocent girl smirks devilishly and says: A yankee fan!

 

yo mamma so fat,  she jumped off the empire state building,

i didnt think it was funny but the ground sure cracked up.

 

there where three married men sitting on top of a building who were sick of the lunches that their wives made them every day. so the first one said “if i get a pb&j sandwich one more time then ill jump off this building.” his wife made him pb&j and the man jumped of the building and died. his wife was interviewed and she said that she had no clue that he didnt like it.

the second man said “if i get a ham and cheese sandwich one more time then ill jump off this building.” his wife made him a ham&cheese sandwich and the man jumped of the building and died. his wife was interviewed and she said that she had no clue that he didnt like it.

the third man said “if i get a peanut butter and honey sandwich one more time then ill jump off this building.” his wife made him a peanut butter and honey sandwich and the man jumped of the building and died. his wife was interviewed and she said “dont look at me. he made his own lunch.

 

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the cat fall out of the tree? because it was strapped to the monkey why did the tree fall over? because it thought they were playing a game

 

One day in a forest, a bear spotted a rabbit. Not having eaten for a while the bear chases the rabbit. After about 5 minutes, a Genie pops up and holds up his hand. The rabbit and bear screach to a stop before the genie. “I shall grant you both 3 wishes,” the genie said, “If you, Bear, do not eat Rabbit.” “OKAY!!!” the bear roared, “But I get to go first!” “Very well,” the Genie said. “Your first wish is?” “Uh….” The bear wondered. “I wish that every bear in the forest was a girl-bear!” The Genie clapped his hands. “Now it’s your turn rabbit.” “Okay, I wish that I had a motercycle,” The rabbit wished. The Genie clapped his hands. “Now it’s your turn bear.” “I wish that every bear in the WORLD was a girl-bear!” The Genie clapped his hands. “Now it’s your turn rabbit.” “Okay, I wish that I had a helmet,” The Genie clapped his hands. “Now for your final wish Bear.” “I wish that every bear in the UNIVERSE was a girl-bear!!!” The Genie clapped his hands. “Now for your final wish Rabbit.” The rabbit put on his helmet, revved the engine, and looked back towards the bear. “I wish you were gay,” and he drove off.

 

 

lol hope you enjoyed them! I cant post for the weekend im going on vacation! :  ) Have fun!

June 26, 2008

lol

Filed under: Jokes — lol27 @ 9:55 pm

Today we were annoying my cousin and I said “oh my god you have to much fat” then my brothers says “no she doesen’t” then i said ” Blubber?”

June 18, 2008

Aaaaaaaaaghhhhh

Filed under: Animal jokes, Holiday vacation, Husband & wife jokes, Jokes — Tags: , , , , , , , — lol27 @ 9:58 pm

YOU HAVE TO READ THIS FIRST BEFORE LOOKING AT THE PICTURE


Family on vacation in Australia for a week and a half when husband, wife and their 15 year old son decided to go scuba diving. The husband is in the navy and has had some scuba experience.  His son wanted a picture of his mom and dad in all their gear so he got the under water camera ready to go. When it came to taking the picture the dad realized that the son looked like he was panicking as he took it and gave the ‘OK’ hand sign to see if he was all right.   

 

 

 

 

 


 
 
 
 
 



Try to tell me you wouldn’t have emptied your Entire digestive system right at the point you saw it!!!
Would you have stayed to take the picture??

 

 




Maybe what saved them was that the shark wasn’t hungry, they were in the water not on the surface, and there was no fear coming from them only because they were not aware. Probably better that the kid didn’t point for them to look behind them.

Apperantly this is a try story             omg i wouldv ben scared out of my mind!!!!!!!!!!!

June 15, 2008

Hey!

Filed under: bloging, Jokes, work jokes — lol27 @ 4:05 pm

Hey guys i forgot to tell alll of u that i was going on a cruise!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thats y i didnt post for the last week the cruise was awesome it was my 2nd family annual cruise it was a 7 day cruise we went to 1st GRAND CAYMAN On the island we went to hell : an rock form that formed a long time ago and the called it hell then we went to the turtle farm Talk about Kool the turtles wer HUGE then we saw smaller ones and we accutally got to catch them lol then put them back 😦   2nd we went to ROTON in HONDOROUS and wasnt that great the only kool thing was seeing iguanas i mean i see igaunas alot wer i live but ther wer atleast 100+ it was crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3rd Then we went to Belize it was reaaaallllllyyyyy kool we saw the maya ruins there was really good sights 4th last but not least COZMEL MEXICO  Ther was a kool beach and alot of funny shirts ( i might post cruise pics ltr ) and then this guy wore clothes that looked like a statue then painted his skin the color of his clothes it looked like platinum and then when someone got near he jumped out at them and scared the living daylights out of em` lol  And thats it ltr dudes!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Heres a joke:

WORKING FOR MICROSOFT:
Computer novices may feel like they’re alone
these days, but some of the following calls to
IBM’s help center show there are plenty of people
out there who still are inching onto the information superhighway.

After a caller gave a technician her PC’s serial
number, he scanned a database of registered
users and responded, “I see you have an Aptiva”
desktop unit. Before he could say another word,
the caller shrieked and said she’d be right back.
When the customer returned, the technician
asked if she was all right. The caller responded:
“Had I realized you could see me,
I never would have telephoned in my bathrobe.”
A customer who had just received a laptop
computer asked about the power-saving feature
known as “hibernate.” Would this hibernate device
work in the spring and summer, the caller asked.
Another caller explained she had received a gift of
software on 5.25-inch diskettes, but she had only
a 3.5-inch disk drive on her computer.
The technician said she had two options:
Get a second disk drive, or use 3.5-inch diskettes.
The customer called back later, now complaining
that her disk drive was making a terrible noise.
And this despite the fact that she was using
a 3.5-inch diskette, she said. After a bunch of
questions, the technician determined the caller
had used a pair of scissors to trim the 5.25-inch
diskettes to fit the 3.5-inch drive.

                                 \
 

June 6, 2008

Funny Soccer

Filed under: Jokes, vids — lol27 @ 8:02 am

Heres the link i cant seem to get the vid on my site!!!!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=YPQ_N4imYVE

 

~lol27~

May 29, 2008

Apitude Test

Filed under: Intresting stuff, Jokes, Q&A — lol27 @ 4:35 pm

This is off topic but watever

VIEW COMMENTS FOR THE ANSWERS!

1. If you went to bed at 8 P.M. and set an old fashioned alarm for 9 A.M., how much sleep would you get?

2. Do they have a Fourth of July in England?

3. How many birthdays does the average man have?

4. Why can’t a man living in Winston-Salem, North Carolina be buried WEST of the Mississippi River?

5. If you had one haystack on the one side of a field and two on the other side and you added them together, how many haystacks would you have?

6. If you had only one match and entered a room that had an oil heater, a stove, and a gas lamp, which would you light first?

7. If a doctor gave you three pills and told you to take one every hour, how long would they last?

8. a man builds a square house, each side having a southern exposure, he looks out the window and sees a bear, what color is the bear?

9. How far can a black and white dog run into the woods?

10. Which is correct: 7 and 8 are 16, or 7 and 8 is 16?

11. How many outs in an inning of baseball?

12. There are two U.S. coins that total 55 cents. One is not a nickel. What are the two coins?

13. A farmer has 16 sheep, all but nine die, how many are left?

14. Divide ½ into 30 and add 10. How much do you have?

15. Two men are playing checkers. Each man wins five games. Each man plays five games. How can this be?

16. Take two apples from three apples. What do you have?

17. Is it legal for a man in Quincy Illinois to marry his widow’s sister?

18. How many species of each animal did Moses take with him aboard the Ark?

19. A woman gave a beggar 50 cents. The woman was the beggar’s sister, but the beggar was not the woman’s brother. How can this be?

20. The archaeologist who said they found a coin marked 46 B.C. was either kidding or lying, Why?

I got 12/20 right Good luck

May 28, 2008

Sorry!!!

Filed under: Animal jokes, bloging, Jokes, Pics — lol27 @ 9:40 pm

Sorry but renriquez (my  bro/auther) Will not post until school is ova hes really busy!

 

 

May 24, 2008

Cinder block

Filed under: Jokes — lol27 @ 11:11 pm

A womens first child gos up to her mom and asks, “mom, why did you name me daisy?”

The mom says,”Because when you were born, a daisy petal fell on your head.

The women’s second child asks her,”Mommy, why did you name me rose?”

The mom replied,” because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head.

The lady’s third child starts interupting

Then the mom yells,” SHUT UP CINDERBLOCK!”

May 21, 2008

Practical jokes

Filed under: Jokes, Practical jokes — lol27 @ 11:00 am

Heres some practical jokes of mine, i might be doing some utube vids on these!!!

Cold shower: take a glass of ice cold water (or an ice tray) and sneek in the bathroom when someones taking a shower and dump it over and in 2 the shower then RUNNNNN!!!!!!!

Sticking a glass of  water 2 the wall!:  bet someone that you can stick a glass of ICE cold water 2 the wall wit a rock. Chances are they wont think u can bcause u cant! so go to a wall ( i recamend u do it outside) and start trying to stick it 2 the wall wit the rock “accedintaly” drop the rock and ask them politely 2 get the rock for u when they bend down 2 get it pour the water on there head!!!  p.s. Be prepared 2 RUN and im not responsible if the run after u like a mad lion!!!

talk ltr

lol27

 

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